I am clear on my objectives in homeschooling. I know why I am doing it. But I don’t have those clear, measurable objectives that I learned about in the School of Ed.
I am not so worried about academic objectives. I feel adequately prepared to give my children at least as good a start as any public school. And if I fall short? If they aren’t prepared for college level work? They will be adults, and if I have ingrained in them the benefits of hard work, accepting responsibility and seeking assistance when necessary, they will apply themselves and look for the help they need to fill in the gaps.
I am not so worried about “socialization.” Already, all three of my children display signs of being quite outgoing. They have no difficulty interacting in a social setting, although my daughter perhaps is a bit too talkative in such situations.
My concerns deal with faith, independent thought, character. They deal with issues of the heart which can only be measured by God. What if I fail in this? All the academic and social skills in the world will not draw my children nearer to God if they reject His teaching. What if I lose my children? What if I’m too hard on them? Or not hard enough? What if I preach too much…or too little? What if the life I display before them is too far from what I say to give the words any meaning?
I wish there were a clear curriculum choice that would guarantee the results I want. Except if they claim that, I would put it back on the shelf, because even in my moments of desperation, I know it isn’t that easy. Calacirian relates a recent experience at a homeschool convention in which she ran into a friend whose children had walked away after homeschooling them:
“Well, I’d like to go in there,” and she gestured toward the Vendor Hall, “and tell them that they’re selling lies. None of it works.”
I appreciate companies that stand behind their products and I appreciate churches who stand behind homeschooling. But no method of education will guarantee that our children will live by the principles we teach them, whether that is Christian or not.
I am not perfect. And I see my sins replicated in my children. I know the only way to correct this is through better modelling. A closer walk with Christ. Becoming like Him. But I am not perfect. I will always fall short. And my children will always see that more than anyone else.
Right now, my children exhibit a sort of blind faith in God. They have a love for him compatible with their age and understanding. My seven year old prays for her friends and family and that we will have enough food. My three year old’s prayers recently have reflected a great concern for God. He prays for God’s safety, that He will go to heaven one day and that He won’t get hit by a car. My one year old states emphatically, “Ayeeoma!” which I think is what she gathers from, “In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
And if they leave that? I will naturally blame myself. My imperfections. My lack of proper training. But they aren’t clean little slates adopting only what I write upon them. God himself created two perfect human beings and placed them in a perfect environment. They chose to walk away. It certainly was not the fault of their creator, nor of their education. Sometimes, the hardest thing about faith is recognizing that it isn’t about me and my plans and my abilitiy to carry them out.
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What does failure look like?
Homeschooling should give them a better chance if you intend to provide an all round education permeated with a living faith.
This includes not only a regular prayer life, but also apologetics (defence of the faith), discussions in which God’s laws play a part, the decisions the parents make and how God is involved. At least with homeschooling the children are able to see how a Faith filled life can be lived. It’s not the curriculum but the integrated living faith that affects the results.
Spunky, I’m not sure I understand your question.In the absence of clear, measurable objectives, it is a little hard to determine. If my goal is God’s will, I cn harly fail. But if not? “my” goals are that my children would possess an integral faith, no one compartmentalized between the world and sevice to God. “My” goal is that they learn to recognize God in every subject and learn to bring every aspect of their lives under Christ’s control. But I hardly count myself successful in that. A student can not be greater than his teacher, and I fall short. I hope to preserve them until such time a they are prepared to accept Christ Himself as their teacher. If I fail?
Thank you, davidus. Yes, I agree with all your points. Living what we preach is key, I believe. But when people “fail” it is easy to blame curriculum, lack of support from the church or the parents themselves. But none of us are perfect. If my children turn out to be faithful Christians, and my neighbor’s do not, can I claim superior righteousness? I don’t think so. We do not always know God’s plan. That is why we put our faith in Him. Homeschooling is an act of faith and (I believe) obedience to Him. But that does not make it a universal guarantee.
I understand precisely your feelings on this subject. It is not easy to rest easy in this area. Yesterday morning I felt on top of the spiritual aspects of child-rearing…but by evening I had to majorly confess my sin to the Lord and my Princess Daughter. I thank God she was the only one who saw my wretched state that time. Everyone else was gone. It is truth that mutual confession and forgiveness goes a long, long way in the process of our children growing up to stay planted on solid ground. My husband just told the children (22-8) last week during devotions that he hoped they would be gracious to him in his not-yet-perfect parenting.
Thanks Laurie. I do think humbling ourselves enough to apologize to our children when we do wrong helps a great deal.
I think you are actually in a good place when you realize you can’t do it on your own strength, because you can’t! I also appreciate you being honest about your concerns. They are good and real questions, that we should all keep asking ourselves. We need Him to help us through it all…homeschooling is not just about the curriculum, it’s about the heart of our children.
And yes, that is scary and humbling to think about. The good things I see in my kids I give the glory to God for it all, not my “adeptness” or wonderful skill as a homeschooler…ha!
Thank you, Kristie! A commentor on my other blog shared an interesting point…about how God preserves us. All of her siblings “ran away” to some degree. But God preserved them, and one by one they returned to the Lord in His time.
And I suppose one would have to consider that while Adam and Eve did walk away from God, atonement was provided for them. Not that I can do that for my children, but who is to say at what point a person makes a personal commitment to faith?
I’ve had similar thoughts running through my head lately, too. I can teach my children the Bible, model good behavior, guide them to the right path … but only God can open their hearts to show Himself to them. I’ve come see that when I take credit for my children (or anyone else in my sphere of influence) being (or ‘getting’) saved, I’m stealing God’s glory and honor and putting myself and *my* works in the spotlight.
Soli Deo Gloria!
Thank you, Heather. I think sometimes that is very much my issue…that I do try to make it about me and not give things over to God that are not in my control. Of course, it doesn’t help that I have been reading up on cases where homeschooling failed and trying to gain a more accurate picture. I know statistics are in my favor, but I also know how little those statistics matter if they don’t fall in your favor.
God is the one who gave you your children, each with his or her own personalities and charector traits, because he knew you were the best person in the whole world to “raise them up in the nurture and admonition of him.” I was raised a homeschooler (k-12) by christian parents, and I don’t think I ever considered stopping being a christian.
One think that my parents would do when closing our family devotions was they would say to God about me and my siblings was “Please bless [me and my siblings] and cause them to grow up to be your Mighty Men of Valor”, and this stuck with me.
Anyway the main point is that all you really need to do is your best, and leave the rest up to God. Again God knew you would be the best mother in the world for your children.