What advice do you give to those who are considering homeschooling? Dr. Melissa Clouthier ponders:
And, I’ve had two people talk to me out-of-the-blue about home schooling. I’m torn about it. It would free us up to do some more interesting things, but I’m worried about losing my last neuron. Any thoughts?
There is, of course, the “What? Are you crazy? Why on earth would you want to do that to your kids?” response. But within the homeschooling community itself, I know only two main answers:
1. Of course you should homeschool. There is no other real alternative.
Whether for religious, ideological or pedagogical reasons, most people I know who homeschool (and bother to blog about it) are pretty passionate about what they do and don’t quite understand why everyone isn’t doing it.
Despite how I may come across in this blog, I don’t really fall under this category. I think there are serious problems with our public schools, but I do not believe that the public schools are a prescription for a lifetime of problems. When parents are committed to their children, the children generally do well, no matter where they are educated. For some, that commitment naturally progresses to homeschooling because the school is failing their children. For others, it means a little additional support at home. Public schools fail worst when parents drop their children off and wash their hands of them, but then homeschooling would fail these children, too.
Education flows naturally from the home, but that does not preclude someone from delegating portions of that responsibility.
2. Homeschooling isn’t for everyone. Try it out and see how it goes.
It is an appealing, non-threatening way to help someone who is considering homeschooling, particularly with summer approaching. And there are several advantages to this basic idea. The largest benefit I see is that it breaks down those first barriers and allows parents to see what homeschooling is really about without having to withdraw their children from school or feeling like they’ve somehow failed if they put their children back in school after a period of time.
But it has problems, too. In the absence of convictions about what you were doing and why, would you have continued homeschooling past a three month summer break? I don’t think I would have. Initially, it was my husband who wanted to homeschool. I agreed to do it through kindergarten, not thinking I’d make it beyond that. By the time I was finished researching, however, I had developed firmer convictions. Without those convictions, I doubt I would have made it through the nightmare that was kindergarten. I made every mistake a beginning homeschooler makes. I tried to make my home into a school. We even had bathroom breaks, a makeshift white board, posters and a pointer.
Every thing the non-homeschooler fears has probably occurred in our homes: defiant children, disinterested children, not knowing the answers to questions, not understanding something in the lesson, apathy on the part of the parent, etc. That is just part of being a parent working with children. I think the difference is that homeschooling is not an end in itself. There is something else we are trying to achieve and we know that homeschooling is the means to that end.
My two cents, for anyone interested.
Set homeschooling aside and consider what it is you want to accomplish through education. Essentially, consider and write out an educational philosophy. This consists of three main parts:
Beliefs:
What is the nature of knowledge?
What is the role of the teacher?
What is the role of the child?
I followed this pretty well in part one of my educational philosophy if you want a sample.
Goals:
What does it mean to be educated?
What do you wish to impart to your child?
What are those thing you wish to remain after all the facts have been forgotten?
I sort of did this in part two, but it needs some work.
Actions:
What is the best method to achieve these goals?
For part three, I did a pretty good job of defining my three main goals and how I planned to meet those goals.
And that will lead you to homeschool, private school or public school. It will lead you to the approach that is right for your family, whether that is a more structured, text book style, or something more informal like unschooling. The key is not to go into this trying to fulfill other people’s expectations or trying to live up to a model of education that was imposed on you. The key is to evaluate what you believe education should be and choose your child’s educational setting accordingly.
If you choose to homeschool, having a thought out philosophy of education should help you through those inevitable days where nothing seems to be working and you feel like giving up. I know it has helped me with that irritating tendency to compare what we are doing to what everyone else seems to be doing. I have more confidence in what I am doing because I have taken the time to think about why I am doing it. And the passion that I may exhibit in this blog comes from that conviction and that reflection. I know we are doing what is right for our family.
[tags]homeschooling, education[/tags]
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GREAT post~I couldn’t agree more! and I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! LOL! Not in a scary way, I just finally put two and two together~from HSB! YAY! I can still read ya! (((((HUGS))))) sandi
I’ve usually given people answer #2, but with a caveat…commit to doing it for a full year, because starting to homeschool is a bumpy road, and you don’t begin to experience the benefits until you work through the bumps. I’ve also posited the question to people having difficulties (as humbly as I can, because I have had to work through this myself) “Are you having an educational problem, or a parenting problem?” An educational problem has an educational solution –be it finding the right school or tutor, using a different material or method, or just trying again later. A parenting problem won’t go away with an educational solution — the kids will be out of your hair most of the day if you put them in school, but you will find yourself dealing with the same issues on another front when they are home.
I’ll admit to personally being in the 1st catagory, but I try to offer the 2nd to people who are unsure. It can be scary to commit to this for years if you’re not sure, so I suggest they start small.
Sandi, I thought you “sounded” familiar!
Rebecca, I couldn’t agree more. And likewise, if it is a parenting problem, pulling them from school won’t help much unless that helps you to fix your parenting problem.
Summer, I agree. I do believe anyone can homeschool. The barriers are largely due to false conceptions about homeschooling, parenting, and education mixed with some confused priorities.
But I feel strongly that whatever someone chooses should flow directly from their convictions about education, not what they think they should be doing. The latter really only sets one up for failure.
Almost 10 years ago, my wife and I led one of the larger local homeschooling support groups (120+ families) so we got alot of practice at answering the basic questions. My answer to this one was: many many people who think they couldn’t homeschool actually could, but I would never try to force or guilt anyone to do it. I also liked to point out that everybody homeschools, to a certain extent, since you can’t keep kids from learning just because they aren’t in a “classroom”; we were just being more obvious about it.
I wonder why most people don’t like home school even though they haven’t tried it. The main reason shouldn’t be experience because most parents who tried home schooling are hesitated about it.
Nice post. Maybe some parents just need time to think about home schooling. Introducing ideas that are far from the ones accepted in the society will surely leave people doubtful about it.
gottobtru–I definitely agree that we all homeschool. Every parent desires to impart their values to their children, and do what they can to achieve that. I really think most people’s barriers are based in inexperience. Unfortunately, if you are holding up the public school model, the inexperience may prove to undermine your homeschooling.
I think anything we undertake, we do so better when it is based in convictions and we know it is the proper course. For an analogy: if you are sick and have the choice of death or a painful treatment, most people will choose the treatment. We don’t go into it thinking, “I’ll give it a try and see how it goes.”
Homeschooling is hard work, and there are a lot of times when it requires faith. Especially since it is no longer “normal.”
You’ve hit the nail on the head. When a family has a clear idea of their educational philosophy, the decision of whether to homeschool or go to school, or a mix falls into place much easier. Rather than “trying out” homeschooling and seeing if it works, a family that knows where they stand on education is naturally drawn to one form of education or another.
If someone asks me if they should homeschool, or which curriculum to use, I feel like someone is asking me, “So, should I be Buddhist?”
I don’t know!!! Why are you asking me? Do you want to be converted? That scares me a little, that people are coming into homeschooling wanting to be told it’s the right decision for them. The whole point of homeschooling is to be empowered, and independent.
But I do understand the first step fear, about doing something so different, and so foreign.
I say, to those that are scared, do research - learn as much as you can. Make a decision based on your own experience, and whether homeschooling makes sense to you. Because my reasons, and everyone else’s reasons will be different. It’s impossible to make a decision based on other people’s POV. Just like making a decision about religion, which clothes to wear, whether to get a boob job, which path to take in life…
Thanks for the great post.
Dana,
That is a very important point. Homeschooling is a whole family, whole lifestyle decision, and cannot be undertaken likely. However, like anything else God ordains, if we obey He will bless and make it possible. Not easy, not trouble-free, but possible. I am thinking especially in terms of lost income if an employed mom stays home. Does God want you to do this? If He does, we better not disobey. If He doesn’t, no way can you do this on your own steam.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Homeschooling is no easy task. My seven children have either been homeschooled or are still in homeschool, so I’ve seen it all. I look forward to reading more in the future.
I really appreciate your “two cents” and spelling that out for people who may be considering homeschooling. I find that knowing what you believe (and sometimes what you don’t) helps a lot in moving forward with the decision, and sticking to it.
Thanks, Isaiah5513!
I do believe homeschooling to be superior and that it will work for most, but it will only be successful if the people doing it believe that! And it needs to be for their reasons, not mine!
Very thoughtful post. I’m sure this will help a lot of people considering homeschooling.
Thank you! We know that homeschooling is for us - it’s the only option we can afford to public school - and I have my own ideas about education for my children. I haven’t, however, written out a philosophy of education for our family. I’ll tackle that in the next few weeks on my blog.
Great! Please let me know when you post it. I love reading about why people chose homeschooling and how they are going about it!
that was a great post. enjoyed it.
What a great post - thanks so much for including it in our Homeschool Tips and Advice project!
Kelly