I’ll just pass over the general disdain for anyone who may choose to homeschool for religious reasons, and the attempt to portray us as nothing but nutcases living in Fairytaleland, but I do have a question.
Is there nothing of value to the individual and to society that is unpaid? Is a woman’s worth based on her paycheck? Is Ananda Roberts doing more than Andrea Peterson because of her paycheck? If not, then why am I somehow enslaved by my personal choice to remain at home? I could go into the economic benefits…the money not spent since I am home as well as the social cost of children raised in the state system.
But I refuse to be reduced to my economic potential. I’m not into Marxist materialism.
I honestly admire any woman who has the brains and energy to homeschool, make no mistake. But it’s frustrating to me that it goes without question so often that mothers are obligated to turn those brains and energy over to their children, keeping nothing for themselves, and not even getting that (meager) paycheck at the end of the day that professional teachers receive. Pandagon.net
Just to clarify. I wasn’t obligated to do anything. I haven’t sacrificed anything. I haven’t given over my brains and energy to my children, keeping nothing for myself. And I don’t miss the paycheck.
Women are more than child-bearers and “keepers of the home.” We are also more than a paycheck. But that is substance for another post.
By the way, I am pursuing a concurrent dream of mine at the moment with a June 11 deadline. I doubt I’ll be absent from blogging, but it’ll be light. Also unpaid, but personally fulfilling.
Related Tags: homeschooling, women, women’s rights, mommy wars
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Ooooh…so you’ve been reading over at Pandagon. I spent a whole night over there once reading a lengthy discussion of whether or not a woman actually could legitimately and freely choose to stay home in a traditional wife/mother role without being an Uncle Tom. The conclusion was that she could not. That is the one thing that women cannot choose.
Yeah…I don’t spend much time there. But every so often, I cannot help it. I like being viewed as a traitor to a cause. It helps with that whole solidarity thing we women are supposed to have. The left has attempted to make me half a person, stripping me of some of my greatest desires by denying they actually exist and making equality about economic issues.
I’m a bit more than that, however. Actually, so is my husband.
Here is a thought–is it so aweful to turn over our brains to being home with, educating and caring for our children? or is it more aweful to turn over those same brains to some employer for more their benefit than our own?
Either way–we are using our intellect for anothers ultimate gain. Some of us just prefer to have a more personal and fulfilling subject to turn it over too.
And that is just one way of looking at it, because I do not feel like I am turn my intellect/brain over to anyone. This homeschooling thing is just as intellectually stimulating for me as it is for my child…and I have been in that classroom, getting that paycheck and I wasn’t reaping great intellectual nor personal benefits–I was making a living and nothing more (and please don’t get me wrong; I had grand ideals and plans and hopes for my students and profession. The system stunt, forbid or overrode them.)
or is it more aweful to turn over those same brains to some employer for more their benefit than our own?
That is exactly what I was thinking. I’m not against business in any way, but is it morally superior to give my creative energies to some employer for my own material gain, or to give it to my children for their intellectual gain?
And how many homeschoolers have your met, in person or online, who said they feel like their education began when they began homeschooling? It is intellectually stimulating.
Lovely post, Dana, and my thoughts exactly after last night, reading the Pandagon post and most of the comments.
We farm, so I suppose technically I’m working, though not working outside of the home or for a regular paycheck. When we sell grain or livestock, or I sell my eggs, we get money :).
I wouldn’t trade my freedom, the chance to be with my children, and out of doors for anything, especially not to be a Dilbert in a cubicle with a regular paycheck.
And yes, I’m teaching my kids that there are more valuable things in life than money. Freedom, for one, and free thinking, for another…
Thanks, Becky.
I don’t know why success has to be defined by what the “male world” has determined it to be, anyway, but then I might start sounding a little more “feminist” than I really am.
I don’t begrudge anyone anything and other women need to know what is right for them, but I tire of being characterized as being enslaved by my own free choices because it doesn’t meet with what someone else thinks I should be doing.
Maybe I missed it elsewhere, but I want to know about the June 11 deadline…what is the project?? Sounds interesting…
Great post. I read a troubling article in Ladies Home Journal several months ago, as I sat in the doctor’s office (just so you know I don’t subscribe to this magazine, but not to judge anyone who does)…Can’t remember now the author or title, but the article was reviewing a book about how women have been lied to about the terrible financial effects of staying at home. The premise of this author’s book was to give these poor women the information that has been withheld from them. The author felt she was being benevolent and doing a great service to bring the truth to these women, but I listened to a portion of her live interview with LHJ, and the tone of her voice said it all. No benevolence, just a cutting vindictiveness in her tone. She repeatedly spoke of the fact that a stay-at-home woman’s husband could just “drop dead,” then what was she to do? It was all just disgusting and self-serving, and possibly all to make her feel better about her choice to be a full-time working mother.
Dana, what I was trying to get at (I probably sounded rambling) was the fact that I don’t appreciate people who use the “economic factor” as a tool of fear and intimidation against women who stay (work) at home.
I agree, Jennifer.
And if my husband dropped dead? Where would I be? That is why we have life insurance. And it isn’t like I’m helpless. I have family. I have a church. And I have “marketable skills.” While I would prefer not to market those skills, I could if I had to.
I haven’t spoken about that June 11 deadline…but it is just an article for a homeschooling magazine. It is about a mission with a unique, family focus. At the time I proposed it, it was just an article on a topic I thought I could write about and it sounded interesting. It is gaining personal meaning for me rapidly, however, but I’ll get into that when I have time!
Looking forward to reading the article when it’s ready! Is that a mission as in a particular organization, or a personal mission of yours? I ask too many questions; I’ve been told I sound too much like Barbara Walters.
I’m just so darn curious, though. I probably just need to wait and read…
or a personal mission of yours?
I wish…but I’m not quite that kind of person. It’s Family Mission International. If we could figure out how to live the next several years without an income, we’d strongly consider applying.
Hmm…if all of my readers committed to sending us $100 per month…
Oh, preach it sistah! Great little post here. You know, I think that deep down, they’re just jealous, or at least nominally curious, whether they even realize it or not! *tee-hee-hee* So, they have to invalidate what we’re doing, makes them feel better about staying on their chosen path. LOL
Really, to admit that we may be on to something would just require too much drastic change, so the possibility is quickly buried with bogus accusations and inferences.
And on top of that, many probably just really do feel threatened by our indifference to their disapproval, and therefore think we’re weird and just plain out really don’t like us- freakish, alien, old-timer, out-dated, weak-minded, hiding behind religion beings that we are and all. That was my own naive take once upon a time anyways… back when I prided myself on being an open-minded “freethinker” and all. Hah!… the irony!
Then I began to wake up… to real freedom. How I praise the Lord when I remember where He’s brought me from, and daily realize how He’s continually renewing my mind!
Shortly after I got home from the hospital with my first child, I looked at her as she nestled into my arms. Newborns have a curious ability to give themselves over entirely to you, to mold themselves entirely into your arms, so that you cannot quite feel where you end and they begin.
Suddenly, everything I had previously believed about success, motherhood, and child care changed.
I don’t much care if I’m a traitor to a cause I’m not terribly concerned about. I don’t wish to be a traitor to my children. There isn’t enough money or status in the world for that.
Yes, that’s truly what it comes down to, isn’t it? Very well said… priorities. Oh, and they are growing up SO fast!
*sighs* as I anticipate having another newborn to hold.