Some things are just a little difficult to talk about with children. But some of these things can be deadly if not taken seriously. This post and the links associated contain very adult themes, but unfortunately discuss behaviors of children.
At least 82 youths have died from the so-called “choking game,” according to the first government count of fatalities from the tragic fad. CBS News
What is the “choking game?” Essentially, a game in which adolescents strangle themselves to experience the resulting giddiness associated with the sudden return of blood flow. Eighty two deaths may not sound like that many over the course of the year, but statistics on this activity are difficult to compile. Some studies suggest that the practice is a little more common than we might like to admit.
As many as 20 percent of teens and preteens play the game, sometimes in groups, according to some estimates based on a few local studies. But nearly all the deaths were youths who played alone, according to the count complied by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Ibid.
A danger of the public schools? Too much socialization? MomLogic received a response to the reporting of this topic that hits a little closer to home.
Thank you so much for posting this and informing parents. December 11th marked three years since the death of our 16-year-old son from this “game.” We homeschool our children and you’d think our son would have been somewhat sheltered from knowing about this, but he still found out, “played” and died. His two younger brothers found him, which has been a difficult time of healing for them. Talk to your kids about this just as you would drugs, sex, strangers, etc. It’s my daily prayer that my son’s death will help save other kids’ lives. MomLogic
I can’t imagine. A little digging uncovered Loni’s blog, and the story of her son Matthew. His story is not any more tragic because he came from a loving family, a homeschooling family, a Christian family than it would be if he came from any other kind of family. But it makes it seem more threatening, at least to me. This story brings with it evidence that there is no full-proof way to protect our children from the evils of the world.
And there are some things we just do not talk about.
When I first heard of the “choking game,” I actually thought it was referring to something else. Something I first heard about while working with children who were wards of the state. Something that I am even more reluctant to discuss in detail, but it is mentioned in the CBS article which gives some inaccurate information.
Autoerotic asphyxiation does not involve predominantly adult males. Consider the following:
- AEA is most commonly seen in males, ages 13-20.
- Adolescent victims are usually well-adjusted, non-depressed high achievers.
- AEA deaths may account for as many as 6.5% of all teenage suicide, and at least 31% of all adolescent hangings.
From: When Self-Pleasuring Becomes Self-Destruction (pdf)
Well-adjusted, teenage boys. It is a frightening thought, one that I as an adult cannot quite come to terms with. Just how do you breech such a topic with a child? Unfortunately, it may be all too necessary to figure out how…especially since silence may be deadly.
More information: GASP, Games Adolescents Shouldn’t Play, Still Loving My Gabriel.
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For something a little more upbeat, see how to show children love with a lump of coal.
Or visit the Carnival of Libertarians hosted at Consent of the Governed.
[tags]homeschooling, parenting, choking game[/tags]
You’re right, Dana, it’s sad that any child would choose to do this and end his life, but even more so when you think that they can do it without getting illegal drugs and they can do it by themselves.
All the more reason to keep a wide open dialog with our kids and make sure that we know what they’re learning and what they are doing!
Thank you for writing about his. It is easy to think that our sheltering protects our children from every evil. It does not. I often say to my dh that I feel as if I’m in a bubble.
Thanks for posting this, Dana. I think one of the dangers of homeschoolers is that we forget that our kids are, well kids! They are impulsive and naive and sometimes foolish. And they do interact with all sorts of kids from all sorts of environments and get all sorts of ideas. Heck, sometimes they come up with stupid ideas on their own! We need to be aware of current trends so we can arm our children with wisdom and discernment.
It is a difficult subject. And I haven’t figured out how exactly one should go about discussing it. The last thing you want to do is give a kid an idea he wouldn’t have come up with on his own!
But I suppose like most things, so long as the communication is open from a young age, it just isn’t as hard to talk about when the time comes.
It is just so sad to think of kids dying from these kinds of “games” when they think it is harmless.
I have never heard of this… and it amazes me what people, young people especially, will do to “feel” something.
What does that say about our society? Not our homes, not our families, as you have pointed out that this still happens in families you would think it would, but with our society?
What is missing in our current culture that leaves individuals seeking a sense of “feeling” and “sensation?”
Shawna, I think it is part of being human. Especially because this is more prevalent among teenage boys, I think it has to do with risk taking, personal challenges, and the drugged like feeling.
Our boys do not have the same opportunities they once had to truly challenge themselves and take measured risks that were actually productive.
And this sort of thing has been around for awhile. A former co-worker of mine told us during a meeting how he did this sort of thing as a kid. Only it involved squatting and cutting off the blood supply to the brain by pressing the veins in the back of the knee. I suppose it is less dangerous because once you fall over, the blood flow returns automatically unlike when you actually have tied something around your neck.
But you still have potential brain damage from the fall and repeated lack of oxygen to the brain.
Scary stuff. I just wish that bubble Christy mentioned actually protected us and our children.
Way back in my other life when I was a night shift cop we’d run across this once in a while. I learned from a few of the young friends of departed youths that there was supposed to be some kind of sexual arousal associated with the near death choking that could only be achieved by suffocation. From all I could gather, these friends had achieved the sensation and lived to tell about it and considered the odds as worth the risk and that the death was a freakish accident that none of them considered worth worrying about; yea, now try telling that to the family. Thanks for posting on this grim side of growing up.
There is nothing new under the sun. I remember reading an interview with the late Katharine Hepburn. Her brother did this when he was a young teen; she found his body. She said she never got over it. How incredibly sad.
This is very unfortunate and very dumb. One of the morning shows did a special on this and there a you tube videos on this also. Some parents had lost their child to this while he was away at college. The survey they conducted stated that youth are doing this because it gives them a “high” and they are bored. They don’t realize that being bored to death will really cost your life in this game. So sad.
**Our boys do not have the same opportunities they once had to truly challenge themselves and take measured risks that were actually productive.**
I think this is what I was getting at… this is what is missing within our culture.
When I was in highschool a teacher told us about holding your breath long enough until you felt you would pass out… He always added that if you did pass out, your body would take over and start breathing again… so there was no danger. It looks like the next generation took it a step further.
The goal is to give the information to your kids before someone else does… this way when their friend brings up the new cool ‘game’ your kid already knows the statistics. There is no such thing as protecting innocence in this day and age. Education is the key…I HOPE.
Yes, I hope education is the key. The first one isn’t so hard to talk about, but the AEA, infused as it is with “adult” themes is a little more touchy.
You don’t want to give a kid an idea.
I really didnt think that this game was so big, I mean I heard about it on the tv and in the radio, but I didnt acually think it was happening. so unbeilievably sad. I didnt really know. you know, sometimes theres all these hoaxes about dangers but this one’s real.
I really hope my future kids never do this kind of thing, although hopefully I will be able to stop this game if I possibly can.
What a fascinating article. When I read things like this I think I must have forgotten what it’s like being a child and growing up. I do remember I was lonely, but I don’t think I ever considered or even knew about such experiences. What a world we live in.