In a startling development in California, a special task force consisting of SWAT teams and truancy officers has been developed, virtually overnight, targeting homeschool families.
Originally thought to be a logistical nightmare, distinguishing home-schooled children from that of the public school system, officials quickly learned they could gather up a list of suspects from last year’s contestants, finalists and winners of the National Spelling Bee Contest, unusually high SAT scores and any kid who passed a random drug screen and/or pregnancy test.
“Also, we followed home any polite, courteous or well adjusted child,” said Dug Martinez, SWAT Commander. “Oh, and any kid we caught actually doing their homework at the library.” The Spoof
After arresting rural and suburban parents across the state in the overnight raid and turning children over to Child Protective Services, their attention turned to the educational materials seized during the raid as evidence.
Listed among the home-schooling educational material seized by police: copies of “Plato’s Republic; The Prince; The Magna Carta; The Federalist Papers; The Declaration of Independence; The Constitution and The Bill of Rights.” Ibid.
Sounds like my bookshelf.
There’s nothing like a good parody to lighten the mood. And to point out just how unlikely it is that anything drastic is going to happen any time soon. Even in the worst case scenario, California just isn’t prepared to take this kind of action against otherwise peaceful citizens. There may be changes, but they will most likely be slow, something that will work to homeschoolers’ advantage. Because as the attention of the nation drifts from this back to the presidential race or whatever the next “big story” is, homeschoolers will still be there, fighting for the best options available to them.
In a similar vein, California Welcomes New Headmaster, via Rational Jenn.
And now back to today’s real story: D.C. proposes greater restrictions on homeschools
[tags]homeschooling, homeschool, rights[/tags]
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OMG, don’t do that to me. I almost fell out of my chair before I realized this was a joke. I really need to take a break. Go do something else for a while. Get offline. Maybe get my head checked. lol
I give it 24 hours before it starts showing up (as fact) among the regular panic-mail from the hive mind (also known as conservative homeschoolers). It wouldn’t be the first time a parody has been believed and widely circulated.
Well, I happen to be a conservative homeschooler and methinks you paint with a bit to broad a brush, Doc.
That’s funny, Kristina. And maybe it is time for a coffee break. : )
You got me good!
Sorry, but when they got to how they identified homeschoolers, I couldn’t help but pass it along. It was too funny.
That’s. Not. FUNNY!
You got me. Two seconds of terror. Of course, the fact that I’m already loopy on cough medicine didn’t help. Good one, Dana.
With all due respect, it is not so funny when you are the family they decide to give a “friendly visit” to. The problem with this is it gives those in the DSS offices, who have already decided that homeschoolers are abusers, the empowerment to try to cause trouble.
Yes, the families will no doubt be proven innocent but only after a great deal of expense and stress and sleepless nights wondering if some judge will sign a paper allowing some stranger to come and take your children away without so much of a hearing (which HAS happened more than once.)
The odds are 1 in a 1,000 unless it is happening to you!!!! Than you can care less about odds.
Crack. Me. Up. I saw this on BlogNetNews and it just has the first couple of sentences. I thought “NO WAY!” I have been reading alot of parodies lately, so I was 65% sure this was another one. It’s a hoot.
mrs. dani- the best defense is to know your rights. No one can just take your kids away without a parent letting them in the door. The laws are clear, and any social worker who attempts to remove a child from a home without reasonable cause is just begging for a lawsuit and their name in the newspaper.
I have experienced a disgruntled person threatening me with an anonymous report to CPS- and I told them to bring it on. I ain’t skeered. I even offered them a pair of vise grips with which they could have that uncomfortable corn cob removed from their nether regions.
Oh- before I forget- Neal Boortz talked a bit this morning about the CA situation, and he said that he had read somewhere that somebody was trying to get HSers removed from eligibility for Spelling and Geography Bees. I guess too many people are complaining that HSers are all dysfunctional weirdos who have nothing else to do but cheat the PS kids out of their just national recognition for their academic achievements.
Thanks for a good giggle at the end of a long day
Mrs. Dani, it is never funny when CPS removes children. For innocent families, it is an assault of justice. And when it is for non-innocent families, it means the children have lived through a nightmare.
I loved the description of the homeschooled children in this, though…the ones actually doing their homework at the library.
Ok, Dana, do NOT do that again. That was drive-by satire and you could put someone’s eye out. Can you say “War of the Worlds”?
Oh, but it was so much fun.
Drive by satire
Too funny.
All I could think was that I hadn’t seen that in the papers… until I got to the “unusually high SAT scores…” LOL
We just read different papers. : )
But I did have an advantage in knowing I was on a spoof site while reading it the first time.
Sunniemom- the Scripps Howard Natl. Spelling Bee recently revised its rules in a manner that disproportionately affects HS participants. Rule #7 states: “[participants] must not have eschewed normal school activity in favor of preparation for spelling bees….normal school activity shall be defined as adherence to the full school schedule and varied academic course load maintained by a majority of the speller’s age-mates and grade-mates.”
The concern has been that HS participants are at an unfair advantage because they can devote all their school time to prepping for the spelling bee. I don’t know whether this is justified, but the rule definitely seems aimed at HS.
And how exactly can they determine that in a homeschool? What is “eschewing normal school activity” as applied to homeschools?
When I competed in the spelling bee in grade school, my teacher let all the contestants go to another room to practice quizzing each other. We “eschewed normal school activity” for weeks. It was great fun.
I didn’t make it very far, but I bet even the public schooled kids who make it far enough for the rule to matter have eschewed a few hours themselves.
I’ve been a witness to what passes for normal in the public school system, and (pardon the grammar) it ain’t.
Or, as the Amish Farmer said, “I’ve seen normal, and I don’t like it.”