This isn’t exactly news anymore, and I’m not even sure she is the first young lady to offer to auction her virginity to the highest bidder. The prize is currently going to an Australian businessman to the tune of 5.6 million dollars. I guess chastity is worth something these days, which seems to have surprised even young Natalie Dylan.
”It’s shocking that men will pay so much for someone’s virginity, which isn’t even prized so highly anymore.” Herald Sun
“Back then” in her younger days, before college and all the attention from this, she wanted to “make sure about someone” but it just never happened. So now? I guess she is sure that the money will make her “sure” about the stranger she will spending the night with. And what would lead her to do such a thing? She was inspired by her sister who raised several thousand dollars as a prostitute to help put herself through school. Natalie has her eye on grad school, an expensive and time consuming project where some extra money would of course help greatly.
The San Diego student already has a degree in Women’s Studies and planned the virginity auction to raise enough funds for a masters course in Family and Marriage therapy. Ibid.
Interesting start for a Family and Marriage therapist.
This just makes me sick inside. I think that one day she is going to look back really regret this. I know that I have looked back many times wishing that I knew just how precious and special that first time was.
My eyes are wide as saucers i cannot even imagine.
A degree in women’s studies? And this is how she is raising $ for grad school? She obviously learned a lot /sarc. Advancing the cause of women, everywhere.
Ew.
Ditto LOTP “Ew”. I have to echo Cher in “Clueless” when I say that I am picky about shoes, and that’s just where I put my feet.
Feminists always wanted to throw away the bra….and society wonders why young men have no respect for women anymore.
That’s terrible and disgusting. Unfortunatly it’s the sign of the times we live in.
From virgin to whore in the blink of an eye, how sad.
A sign indeed. Now, I know I’m old fashioned and my views on the marital relationship aren’t shared by most of America anymore, but I still have a difficult time imagining getting counseling for that relationship from someone who got her start in this matter. It’s not “just” sex.
Well, having taken many a class in marriage & family counseling much of the professor’s goal was to “normalize” deviate behavior. They said their reasoning was so that you wouldn’t be “surprised” by what you heard in a counseling session but in reality all it does it desensitize and demoralize.
When I see things like this, I always wonder: how many Christians could explain to someone who did NOT share their faith, in a way that was clear, reasonable, and understandable, just why there is anything wrong with such behavior?
Don’t get me wrong here, I’m fully on board with the whole sex-is-part-of-marriage thing. But it seems we don’t often take time to teach the world why such a way of doing things is wise, rather than merely “traditional” or a matter of personal taste. We think (and hope!) that our ways of doing things are in tune with God’s ways, but why should our ways be their ways? Saying “Eew” or “whore” or “sign of the times” (however correct) does not answer that question.
And if we can’t answer that question for someone like Natalie, how will we answer it for our own children?
“Saying “Eew” or “whore” or “sign of the times” (however correct) does not answer that question.”
There’s quite a leap between Ew and Whore. I said “Ew” and I stand by it. The thought of having sex with a total stranger is very Ew-y to me. It is WAY outside my comfort zone.
However, having said that, I would rather see a woman profit from it than have the woman’s father/ family profit from it as happens in many countries.
Still. Ew.
And if we can’t answer that question for someone like Natalie, how will we answer it for our own children?
How do you explain that anything is “wrong” without some shared foundation or point of reference? I can explain from the bible why it is wrong, but that doesn’t get very far if you don’t accept the bible as any sort of reference point for your life.
And then what is there? I can’t ask the world to live by my values.
At first I was shocked when I read your first sentence… but then I understood. She is taking power of her sexuality, her femininity, her personhood. This is one thing that belongs to her solely and completely and which she has complete control over. She can save it and give it to someone special, but that is sentimental and not all that practical; besides, her partner in life will probably have had prior sexual partners of his own, so how special would that be in the end.
I can see why she is doing what she is doing… and not judge her.
Would I make the same choice? Probably not, but I do find it interesting and empowering.
Also it reminds me of that movie Memoirs of a Geisha, so maybe this whole auctioning your virginity thing isn’t really all that new a concept… and even in the movie it was about empowerment.
And please don’t lambast me for my lack of shock or disgust… I am just trying to think this through without judgement nor morality as my lens for understanding.
The only thing that really shocked me about the story was the price and her comment was the only reason that I kept coming back to this article.
”It’s shocking that men will pay so much for someone’s virginity, which isn’t even prized so highly anymore.”
That and although the stories are totally unconnected, I can’t help but think of an advertisement I saw while sitting in a train station in Melbourne. It was advertising sex tourism and offering girls as young as 9 to Australians traveling to southeast Asia.
Natalie is old enough to make these kinds of decisions for herself. There isn’t much I can say to that, although I do not see any source of empowerment. But then, I have difficulty with any connections being drawn between sex and power.
I have difficulty with the word “whore” as well, but then all it means is to have sex in exchange for money, to be a prostitute, or to be considered to have compromised principles for personal gain. It has more negative connotations, I think, but she is having sex in exchange for money. Whether the label will teach anyone anything, I doubt.
I don’t know how accurate it is to say it is a sign of the times exactly. A sign of something, but this story did shock. That’s why it made its debut on the Howard Stern show back in September when the bidding was only in the hundreds of thousands. Skimming over the comments on the original article, she isn’t getting a lot of support. Maybe a “5 mil from a stranger is better than nothing from some loser” but the fact that our culture (and Australian culture) still finds such behavior shocking and condemns it isn’t quite the sign most Christians would take from the story.
Fundamentally, the questions revolve around figuring out what sex is, what intimacy is and how the two are related. Infinitely more troubling to me than one adult woman choosing to do this is the trend in our high schools of “friends with benefits.” There isn’t even the thought of a committed relationship. It’s “just sex.”
To me, sex is a unique creation of God through which man and woman become “one flesh” cleaving to one another. But outside a religious view? I can talk about statistics, but the fact is there is as much surprise at this story as there is disbelief that she could possibly still be a virgin.
What about that movie about the forty year old virgin? I haven’t seen it, but passing by it in the video aisle always bothers me.
This poor misguided girl. She may believe she knows what she’s doing but if she’s really a virgin…she’ll be shocked to learn just how “highly prized” her virginity is…to her self-esteem.
And it’s not like its something you can just take back.
“To me, sex is a unique creation of God through which man and woman become “one flesh” cleaving to one another.”
Then what about sex in the rest of the animal kingdom. Animals do sexually engage. Isn’t sex as biologically driven as thirst and hunger… according to science? Is the emotional aspect of sex a human thing, a human invention, a modern thing in human relationships? If we only look at our past and how sex was handled/view at various points in our history. Hasn’t it always been a commodity?
Just wondering aloud. I find it a thought provoking subject.
A commodity? No, I don’t think so. I think we’re the only species that engages in trade for sex. It is a biological necessity, yes. And yes animals engage in it, but I do think we are different from animals, were created separately and are placed in a special relationship with each other, God and the animal kingdom based on that.
Besides, most animal sex I have witnessed would be considered rape by human standards. I suppose from a scientific perspective, sex does serve a social function among social primates, strengthening and reinforcing bonds within tribes. Other social animals often have strict standards about who can mate with whom (or at all).
I personally don’t see that as having any particular bearing on human relationships, however, but even outside humans it can be seen as bonding as opposed to strictly a biological function.
Upon reflection, I have to ask, what is the difference between this woman offering her body to pay for a graduate degree and another woman offering her body to pay for food or rent money? If one is illegal, shouldn’t the other be, as well?
Just wondering what you’re thinking.
To me there is no difference. As to the legality, that depends on location. OK, maybe there is.
There are women forced into prostitution. Some are drug addicts and need money for their addiction. I don’t know how big of an issue this is here, but I know in some areas some women feel this is the only way to feed and clothe themselves and their children.
It breaks my heart and I have nothing but sympathy for a woman who compromises herself in exchange for basic necessities.
But this is more about convenience. It is easier than working a job through school. I think that is what really bothers me. I don’t see it as liberating or empowering in any way.
Some of this has do to with the value of life. We do not ethically sell body parts or purchase children. Individuals cannot have price tags, because they are irreplaceable.
I don’t think sex is that different. This woman is selling a part of her. That’s different than giving it away. I don’t think she realizes her true worth.
Two thoughts —
When Dana asked, “How do you explain that anything is ‘wrong’ without some shared foundation or point of reference?” my mental response was, what about our humanity? It is undeniably universal despite all differences.
And about animals and sex as social or biological, etc, this post from a biological anthropologist (with a blind spot against homeschoolers, but never mind that for now) is incredibly educational for anyone who can wrestle with complexity as Dana’s readers do. . .
It’s long but worth it imo.
I’m not sure you that even our humanity is undeniably universal. Else genocide wouldn’t be so readily repeated in different cultures at different times to eradicate those who are not considered entirely human. It’s been done for religious reasons, political reasons and even scientific reasons as people in power have sought different rationales for the same power seeking endeavors humans have always engaged in.
We’ll go way off on a tangent there, but that is ok.
There are things most of us can agree on most of the time whether we are informed by a religious worldview or not, especially in America where we have shared values like liberty, even if we have slightly different understandings of the concept. But for the most part, our basic needs are taken care of and we focus on needs above basic survival.
The legal question popped into my thoughts as well–isn’t this a form of sex for money, prostitution in a sense?
I do however disagree in that I think sex is a commodity–it may not always be exchanged for cash, but it is often exchanged for something. And our history has usually handled sex as a commodity as well; I merely think of a dowry and see commodity, except it is between two men–the young woman often not having any input. The young woman in the story has simply taken power of her own sexual prowess. I guess this is what I find empowering in her story–so often men have controlled a woman’s sexuality, even in modern times, even in religious contexts.
The purpose of the dowry was to give the new family money that was to be used wisely and invested so that if something happened to the husband, there would be something for the woman to live off of in the event her husband died.
Sex may be a part of the marriage relationship, but formal economic union as a part of marriage does then therefore make sex a “commodity.”
The only part of the story that makes sense with regards to how high the bidding has gone is the statement that so many of these men appear to be looking for a relationship rather than just a single night.
How has she taken any more power by giving herself to the highest bidder than by sleeping with someone she loves, or cares for or just because she wants to or whatever other reason for sleeping with someone?
Wait- wasn’t this a movie with Robert Redford and Demi Moore? :p
My understanding of a dowry was a financial agreement between a potential husband and father of the bride to take the financial burden of caring for a daughter off of the father’s hands. If she did not marry, she was a financial liability to the end (as you were saying, in a much nicer way than I)… and then a concern should the father become ill or pass away: what will become of my daughter, who shall take care of her? It was the financial concern more than a physical one. But that is just my understanding of the dowry.
Interestingly, Wikipedia stated that the dowry was a form of insurance for the woman’s treatment, a form of protection against ill treatment by the husband AND his family.
And LOL about the movie!!! I forgot that one. This reminded me more of the Memoirs of a Geisha. I bet there are a few stories in history like this one. I guess we could say that maybe her idea isn’t all that novel… just modern with an internet bidding war LOL
I don’t think it is entirely fair to view historical customs through a modern lens. At one time, a woman didn’t have the ability to go out and get a job to support herself should her husband pass away.
The dowry protected her and gave her some insurance against the horrible life she would have should her husband pass.
Exactly!