The Patriot News has a positive article on homeschooling which strives to dispel the myths about homeschool students being taught at home. As in isolated, secluded and lacking any interaction with anyone off the plantation. Nice to know that the existence of co-ops, field trips, proms and graduation ceremonies so elevates us in the eyes of the masses. There was one statement in the article which left me pondering, however.
At one time, home schooling was looked at as not simply an alternate form of education, but an alternative form. Pennlive.com
Meaning, I think, that Americans increasingly view homeschooling more as one choice among many and as another path toward the same goal: an educated child.
Other than a slight urge to shout out “Stop the presses! Homeschoolers are normal!” after reading them, I do appreciate the many positive stories on homeschooling which attempt to portray us as something approaching normal. But I wonder sometimes if this portrayal is entirely accurate.
Choosing between homeschool and public school is not quite like choosing between Coke and Pepsi, McDonald’s and Burger King, Target and WalMart. It’s more like choosing a religion, going green or becoming vegan. It is not a simple choice between two forms of education, but a lifestyle choice.
An as of yet alternative lifestyle choice. Accounting for a whopping two to four percent of the population hardly makes homeschooling “normal.” It just means there are enough of us that most people have run into a homeschooler or two at some point in their lives, making everyone a self-professed expert on “all” the homeschoolers they know anytime the subject comes up for discussion.
Personally, I’d prefer to spend less time trying to convince people that we are “normal,” and more time asking what that really means and how it applies to a remarkably diverse society.
LOL Well… We’re homeschooling because Elf is NOT normal. He’s autistic. So our homeschool is downright weird. And yes, the only other time he sees those mythical creatures called “other children” is at church. (Ok, that part is sad, really…)
I know we are unusual, but I hardly think we are *alone*, even though my experience is not the norm even for homeschooling.
Anyway, as long as homeschooling is not normal, homeschoolers will never be normal. They can’t be normal if they’re homeschooling. Because homeschooling is not normal. Therefore, homeschoolers are not normal. (etc. etc. You could say that paragraph 50 times if you wanted to.)
I think people have forgotten that words are supposed to actually mean something. They toss around words like ’socialization’ and ‘normal’, but if you ask them what ‘normal’ is or what they mean by ’socialization’, they stutter and mumble and either get offended, or realize they don’t know what the Sam Hill they are talking about.
I do believe that many begin homeschooling without realizing that it is a lifestyle choice, and I’ve seen a few try to actually avoid the impact that home education must eventually have on their home life. But is it, as you said, not the same as choosing between two products or services. It will IMO either be embraced as a lifestyle, or be a source of frustration.
“Personally, I’d prefer to spend less time trying to convince people that we are “normal,” and more time asking what that really means and how it applies to a remarkably diverse society.”
Welcome back Dana! Missed your thoughtful voice. . .
I could have written the above myself, it’s so close to my perspective. So could any of the unchurching families, or single, gay, gifted, military and/or theatre parents we know.
There’s a “normal” within home education society too, that my unschooling, progressive family for example, diverges from and is often pushed out for — what do we think about that? Don’t we do the same thing to each other when we define any home education mainstream?
We are a “remarkably diverse society,” and while homeschooling may be a lifestyle choice for some, it’s not for all.
In our family, one child is homeschooled while the other is not. As a result, our lives tend to revolve around the schedule of the child who is in a school. Also, both kids are in scout groups with kids in my daughter’s private school, and the local public school. Again, we schedule meetings and activities around their calendar.
I often wish we could have a completely homeschool lifestyle, with the freedom to go where we want, when we want. However, even as homeschoolers, we’re part of a larger community that includes families who’ve made a variety of education choices.
Homeschooling is a lifestyle. An incredibly good lifestyle [smile].
~Luke
Sandra, that’s the thing. What does it even mean to be “normal” even within our “abnormal” little group? Our lives tend to revolve around the public school calendar, too, just because my daughter’s friend is in school and most activities occur after school.
And it is just part of our mentality at times. Yesterday my daughter asked if the church had had its picnic this year and I said yes. She got confused and I suddenly realized she was talking about 2009, not this academic year. Why is it so natural to think of the 2008/2009 school year as a “year?”
I think that homeschoolers are “normal” and schooled children are not. It is not normal to conform to a group standard. It is not normal to become a cog in a wheel. It is not normal to look to the group for validation. You have to unlearn the idea that you have your own thoughts and ideas, that you are a producer and not a consumer. It’s weird to be amalgamated into a mishmash of kids your own age.
Homeschooled kids are normal. I wish all kids could experience the freedom that homeschooling affords.
Perhaps I should have defined normal.
1. Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type; typical
Personally, I think homeschooling is more natural and that the family is and should be the central place where education takes place. But I don’t think enough people really agree with me to make that a standard typifying American life.
Don’t we do the same thing to each other when we define any home education mainstream?
I think we can easily fall into that.
Another thought I had while reading this article and thinking of the many others I’ve read about the opportunities homeschoolers have. The more we look like school (field trips, class rooms, proms, graduations, etc.) the more we are accepted. Is that really the best argument we can come up with? That we aren’t that different from school in the first place?
“It is not normal to conform to a group standard. It is not normal to become a cog in a wheel. It is not normal to look to the group for validation.”
I’m no evolutionary biologist and not to quarrel but I’m fairly sure that in simple fact, these ARE normal human social behaviors, all.
I like this topic for a few reasons. One, I have found myself looking at some of the homeschoolers in some of the classes we create/fund together to work with a specific individual ie. the historian who gives us a great California history experience rather than doing it alone… and I have caught myself thinking, and heard my son voice, the opinion that these kids are “different.” And then I ask myself–why? Because they dress different than other kids their age? because they play differently than other kids their age? because their parents are with them and so many kids their age have pretty much ditched the parents when it comes to learning and “extra curriculars?”
They do dress differently. It stands out. It appears that they aren’t as concerned with appearance and styles and such. They aren’t trying to look like miniature adults, or celebrities. I don’t say that to be cruel and some may even find that a compliment–I know I would bounce between both feelings myself. It’s just an observation. And then I question myself–is that so bad? These kids are comfortable with themselves… I am assuming. I am very un-materialistic and yet I have two sons who are highly motivated by materialism. I don’t like that so many of our young girls dress like teens, or worse yet–hoochie mamas… and yet a child dressing like a child almost seems odd to me.
These children play outside of the classroom we have been loaned for this one hour a week opportunity. Teenagers playing! Physically running and chasing and giggling! Boys! as well as girls. I find it endearing and “weird” at the same time. Why? Because it goes against everything I know or see or hear about teenagers–I’ve raised 6 so far and taught I don’t know how many. And then I have to question why does it “bother me” for lack of a better word? It doesn’t really. But then it does.
These kids often have a parent in tow… attending class with them, learning aside them. Or even participating in the chasing or ball game outside. Again, endearing and odd for me. Why? It goes against what I know of adults… and yet it is what I loved most as a child: when my parents actually played with me.
I guess they “seem” different because they are different in many ways… BUT, they are also the same in so many ways. They enjoy each others company, they laugh and talk in class when they should be listening, they make silly guesses to questions and then make brilliant ones, they show interest when the subject or presenter is interesting. The girls will congregate at times and whisper and such and then they will play and interact with all the kids, they climb into the trees and challenge themselves the same as most kids–but there isn’t a yard duty aid there to tell them to get down, to warn them of pending danger, to protect the liability of anybody.
These kids are normal! They just seem more relaxed about so many things… and their parents seem so much more relaxed about letting them be themselves. These children may appear different on the surface, but it is my thinking that needs to be checked, not their way of being. Their THINKING is different… and I don’t think that is so bad.
I am still checking my premises when these thoughts pop into my head… we are all different in some degree and we are all the same. Homeschoolers just don’t seem to care what others think as much as non-homeschoolers, I guess.
your blog inspired my own post
I think Shawna addressed the issue very well. People complain that little girls dress too provocatively, parents are too busy for their kids, kids are embarrassed to be seen with their parents, kids are growing up too fast, etc, etc, and everyone is lamenting and wondering what happened to real childhood, when kids could just be kids, and they grew up learning responsibility.
Yet when they encounter what they give lip service to, it feels weird because it’s not what they’re used to seeing in their own world.