Comments on: Homeschool poll: How involved are dads in homeschooling?

By: This Week’s Favorites from the Carnival of Homeschooling « The Expanding Life

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 16:54:09 +0000

[...] How involved are dads in homeschooling? — because dads are parents, too. [...]

By: noodle

noodle — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 15:01:27 +0000

Your DH is a railroader? Mine too. I totally understand.

I chose “supports me 100%” but really, it’s more of “She does all of the homeschooling, and I fill in around the edges when a new perspective is necessary.” LOL

Just this morning we were reviewing a new math course together.

By: Laura

Laura — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 08:18:54 +0000

Dh teaches all math in all grades, and is involved in science. He’s taught the younger set to read, because they Love love love to do reading lessons with dad after dinner. Once they are reading I take over all the LA and most of the rest of school as well, save math. Over the years dh and I have become a great team

By: AZ

AZ — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 04:42:26 +0000

Enjoyed the post, and all the comments too!

I was homeschooled growing up, and my wife now homeschools our oldest 3. It took me a while to learn to step away from the structured part of their homeschool day… The style of teaching I grew up with is much different than her approach. I had to realize that different doesn’t equal better or worse. Different people, different approaches. She does a GREAT job, and my suggestions and “help” seemed to muck things up.

Being an illustrator, I now try to focus on giving the kids lots of create experiences to learn from while wholeheartedly encouraging my wife to do her thing with math, science, history, spelling, etc, etc…

- AZ

By: Robert

Robert — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 22:20:24 +0000

Hah! Reading certain posts in this commentary reminds me of a marriage “survival” lesson that (by the Lord’s grace alone) I learned rather early on.

That is… “If you only do 5% of the work, you only get to VOLUNTEER 5% of your opinions.”

I don’t know about most dads in general, but the more engaged or “invested” I become in something, the more (crazy, green horn, rookie) opinions I start having about how that something should be done. Unfortunately, my opinions sometimes (well… let’s be honest, USUALLY) outpace my direct involvement.

It is at those times that I must often take a step back and recognize the fact that Diane is more often than not doing 95% of the homeschooling.

This is not to say that I do not support her 100% or otherwise provide my input when she asks for it, or that I do not volunteer it when I see a storm cloud approaching on the horizon – that is my duty, and hers as well when the roles are reversed.

That said, this flexible little rule of thumb applies rather well both ways to a number of scenarios – basement finishing, car repairs, yard work, decorating, room painting, preparing meals, etc. … oh… and definitely basement finishing… yes, I know I already said that one… believe me, it’s worth listing it twice!

;o)
Robert at edifyathome.com

By: Scott Somerville

Scott Somerville — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 19:23:17 +0000

Wade Hulcy, of KONOS, figured out why homeschool dads do so little. He says, “Most men are scared to death of looking stupid, especially in front of their wife and kids.” That was the conversation that triggered the “Pop Quiz” supplement to the Tapestry of Grace program. It’s a 32 CD set that tells dads what their family is learning each week and provides good “discussion starter” questions for him to ask at the dinner table.

By: Shawna

Shawna — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 15:56:21 +0000

Your situation sounds identical to ours with the exception that my husband comes on many of our bigger field trips and “teaches” our son in areas that are probably considered more “real life” and not schoolish in his mind at all–like operating the heavy equipment : backhoes and such, watching and talking about topics on the history or discovery channels, building things and fixing things around the house when my husband has the patience and doesn’t feel like David is in the way, having him help to tend the chickens and observe other bugs and reptiles in our yard, teaching him to shoot a pellet gun (just recently started that as David’s interest are there.) But these are things he would have taught him regardless of homeschooling or regular schooling, I suppose Homeschooling just allows for a more natural progression and interaction for them.

By: Dana

Dana — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 14:34:56 +0000

Tim’s mom–a little therapy right here on my blog? It would be interesting to see, because I’d venture to guess the involvement is seen differently. In fact, I’m suddenly sort of wondering how many dads would be more formally involved if they were simply asked.

And Crimson Wife, “best for us at the moment though not ideal”is a viable category. Not all bad.

By: Amy

Amy — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 08:05:58 +0000

Tim’s Mom – that IS a great idea – at least it would be fascinating to know.
Anyway, Dana, my hubbs does not even read blogs much less ones about homeschooling if he did, but I’ll try to answer. I don’t see answer for my husband either. I guess I think “support her 100%” is pretty subjective. Does support mean I’m so glad she’s doing it, but she does it all. Or does it mean I’m really behind homeschooling and so I fill in as much as possible or teach the kids everything I can. OR something else?
So my answer for him is:
She does all the homeschooling and I’m mostly not involved in curriculum choosing, purchasing, or teaching. I’m not very interested in doing it, and she loves it, so I enjoy it this way. Occasionally I take the kids on a field trip without her (but she takes them on more often alone or we all go together). Sometimes I teach the kids life skills like raking the lawn, etc., or give them a worksheet to do while she’s out.

So as for me, the wife, I don’t really feel supported 100% per se, I feel somewhat supported in that he makes a comment once a year about being glad we homeschool, and he’s willing to teach the kids life skills or hand them a worksheet now and then, but it would NEVER be by his own idea or volunteering, only when I ask. My feeling of kind of being out there on my own comes from the fact that he doesn’t have that passion for learning I’m trying to instill, so it doesn’t come naturally to him to show the kids how he gets excited about something and then they go into learning it from the web or do an experiment or something like that. I wish. Not because I’m not doing those things, but because I know how important parental modeling is and I really want all my kids to catch that desire to learn. I try to lift him up to the kids as the principal, but no, he doesn’t check on my work. This may change as the kids get to high school and maybe he’ll want to make sure the ducks are in a row, but our oldest is only in 2nd grade-ish.

By: Tim's Mom

Tim's Mom — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 23:19:55 +0000

It might be interesting for the Dads to answer, and then their wives – to see if they both perceive his involvement the same way.