This dog has got to be the most annoying dog we have ever owned. He charges the children when they open the door, knocking them aside for his taste of freedom. Once outside, he runs in mindless circles at top speed, just out of reach, all the while barking incessantly. When he tires of this, he runs to the neighbor’s two doors down to poo in their yard and bark madly at their front door until the man comes out and kicks him or I get close enough that he decides to move on.
But he always stays just out of reach, taunting me, mocking me, daring me to just try and catch him. I know he’ll come back when he’s good and ready but at least while I’m chasing him in circles, he is too preoccupied with me to keep up the insane barking.
More than once, I’ve decided to throw in the towel and take him to the pound, but then he comes home, wags his tail and flops on the floor, oblivious to the two year old who is trying to ride him. He never, ever takes food from the children, even as he sits and looks longingly down at the baby with his cracker. The baby only comes up to his chest, but he will do no more than lick the dropped crumbs off the floor.
He is good with the children and that has bought him more than a few brownie points, even if there are times I feel like pulling my hair out. In other areas, he has been a breeze to train. In this one, however, he has proven unmanageable.
Then we went out to the property to do some work late at night and I had a different dog. Or rather, I looked at the same dog in a whole new light. Out there, he is allowed in and out as he pleases, something which only took him one trip to learn. Out there, there is no prancing just out of reach. When I call him, he comes. He listens to his commands outside and off leash, something he rarely does here. But then there is this work we were doing at one in the morning.
I went out to get something from the car and Hunter darted out the door past me. He immediately ran in a circle, barked several times, then stopped to see where I was going. A step toward the car and he ran another circle which brought him to the car. He circled the car twice, finally posting himself at the opposite side, staring into the darkness and barking. When I was finished outside, he trotted to the house with me and laid back down in the kitchen.
The circling and barking? He has always done that, but it looks different when you have neighbors. Out there, it was clear he had appointed himself to sentry duty and was doing a fine job of it. It is a job he obviously gave himself a long time ago, but we never recognized it for what it was.
Dogs are bred for a purpose. So selectively that many purebreds can seem neurotic in their fixation on a single task. The quickest way to an unhappy dog and an unhappy dog owner is to try to deny that purpose and keep them from doing their job.
How much truer is this for our children and even ourselves? And how can we incorporate that sense of purpose and meaningful work into our homeschooling?
Elf (now age 9) is a very different child at home as well. He would freak out in the crowds at school. I am learning that he will always be Elf. I am hoping to help him cope with being in crowds on occasion or going a few aisles down in the grocery store without panicking. But I think he will always enjoy being at home more than out in the world.
My children who have always been home are more in harmony than schooled kids. They sleep until they are well rested, well, unless I sign them up for paid homeschool group classes and then they sometimes have an early schedule to deal with. Ha ha ha. But even that is in moderation.
One challenge is how we educate our children at home sometimes must conform with the real world’s expectations. If they are to seek X kind of college degree they must have done X, Y, and Z types of academic learning. This makes us change our homeschool to be in line with the real world.
Since so many attend college but so many feel it was a waste of time and money, yet society still wants that degree, this is all frustrating to even think about. Let’s face it not every person winds up holding a career where their college education really, really matters (law, medical doctor, engineer). Even nurses used to not have to go to college but they’re pushing that now. I feel too many kids are being put through a factory type system out of fear that if they don’t get that college degree or get into certain schools their life will be ruined. I feel that some kids wind up falling through the cracks on the quest to that goal that they miss out on something that either nurtures their true talent, prepares them for more gainful employment in their adult life or messes them up emotionally so they are a different person.
I don’t know if what I’m saying makes sense as I have H1N1 right now but anyway…
one more thing…I am living the alternative lifestyle of homeschooling my kids but I’m not yet with the camp of “let’s reject college as it is overrated and too expensive and not needed”. I personally suffered negative consequences in my career as an adult becuase I didn’t have a degree.
I then sought a BA going nights and weekends after working my career M-F. Not a single thing I learned in those classes was ever applied to my job yet the corporation valued it so highly.
Right before becoming a stay at home mom at the urging of several managers, I applied for a promotion with MBA optional as a prerequisite, I didn’t have an MBA having just finished my BA in Corp Mgmt. I lost the position to a person with an MBA from Columbia. Some of management went there and they told me they held that degree in high regard. Great. I was already doing that job half of my week but not getting the higher pay and not holding that title.
So you can see I don’t want any part in having my kids lose opportunities due to not having a college degree even if I question how much it is actually relevant to a person’s everyday work at their career.
We have dogs like these!
Instead of thinking of it as their “job” or “purpose”, which can lead to utilitarian thinking, perhaps instead we should consider the nature? What is the dog’s nature? Surely, he has been bred for a purpose if he is a purebred, but even so that is only one part of his nature. (And if he is not a pure breed?)
The same goes for ourselves and our children. Rather than considering our purpose, perhaps the focus should be on our Nature. (”human being not human doing”)
I suspect you really mean the same thing, but in our culture there is too much emphasis on “usefulness” which has led us to discount anything that doesn’t have a measurable benefit…utilitariansim. There are so many things which are vital to life that do not have a measurable benefit…or are damaged by being measured. (love for example…how do you measure it? in the number of hugs? Surely not.)
So, perhaps we consider our children’s and our own natures…how did God make us to be: individually and generally? Then we can better consider what sorts of things we should be doing.
I bet your dog is going to LOVE the new place – he sounds like a good dog with lots of energy! Where better than out in the country where he can display and you can enjoy his full and true nature for no other purpose than delight in God’s creation.
I think duty and purpose and meaningful work are essential, but what seems to be difficult for most is finding joy in challenging tasks. Sometimes IMO we are just too immersed in selfish pleasures and have become immune to the joys of hard work and sacrifice.
We recently adopted a pup that was rejected by its mother at 3 weeks- it was like having a baby all over again. She’s 6 months old now and as big as my 8 yob, but she’s so fun and takes protecting the house, yard, and family VERY seriously. Nothing makes her happier than knowing she’s done something to please us.
Excellent post.
Christine, I’m the same way. But I can’t change a whole culture. I enjoyed college, however, and for a time decided I just wanted to be a career student!
I agree, Sunniemom. Sometimes I wonder if it is because of all the activity. All day, children are shuffled about and told what to do. Do they have enough time to get bored enough to undertake their own endeavor?
Mrs. C, I think that is one of the challenges of parenthood: Teaching and training them to do the most with who they are rather than just trying to mold them into who we want them to be.
Kerry, lots of thoughts. I’ll have to compose them later when I’m not popping online for a recipe for movie night!
Hi Dana
I recently read the book about Helen Keller and how she was taught. Her teacher says that any child should be taught like that, according to their interest and in context.
That is what you saw with your dog, when you see things in context they make sense. The same applies for learning.
Children and of course people are naturally curious so why would we not want to learn?
However put us in a class and teach us things that have no relation to our lives, we are learning tricks but no life skills or things we know what to do with.
If we can get society to dare to accept that people can discern for themselves and managers dare to discern for themselves we do no longer need uniform education and pieces of paper. We can look at people’s performance and make up our own mind. Don’t they wonder why staff can do work without an MBA when it serves the manager’s agenda?????
I think home schooled children are far better of than formal educated children.
They learn to think and see things in context. I did not home school my children, they are now adults and I am sorry that I didn’t.