Now there’s a blog giveaway I can get behind. Leave Amber a comment, and she may make a donation to your favorite charity! Oh, and there could be coffee in it for you, too.
Seated around our table with five of her friends, Mouse celebrated her eleventh birthday.
And this in an area that is 91.4% white.
And I wonder, for all the concern about how homeschooled children will learn to appreciate diversity when raised in the bubble we have supposedly manufactured for them, how many children truly select friends who are so diverse?
We note how many opportunities homeschooled children have to play with others. We note that children do not learn to value others by sitting quietly next to them. We note that the playground is little more than a miniature stage for all our social ills.
We don’t like to talk so much about the challenges of giving our children the opportunity to develop friendships. Real, close, lasting friendships as opposed to numerous polite interactions with other children in an ever-rotating cycle of activities. Maybe that is because it isn’t a problem for many, but a number of homeschoolers I have talked to have sympathized readily with the need to be intentional in this area.
As I passed out scones, I thought that maybe that isn’t all bad. In school, you are surrounded by children. You have the option of forming bonds with others like you and building distinct barriers to keep those who are different away. With scarcity, however, comes a willingness to set aside superficial barriers such as race, income, location, etc., in favor of fulfilling the social needs every human being has.
When your class is 90% white, you notice the one Hispanic girl. Outside of that context, however, when you just want someone to play with, you are much more likely to notice that she is nice.
In case you’ve been procrastinating, take a few moments to vote for your favorite blogs nominated in the Homeschool Blog Awards and take time to get to know a few new ones!
And a message from my official spokesbaby:
Happy voting!
We had a roll off delivered to our new property today in order to begin clearing out all the old carpeting and drywall. As the driver backed into the drive, he couldn’t help but notice our many small children running about, anxiously absorbing all that was going on.
How many you got there, miss? Did I count four of ‘em?
He seemed to be counting them a second time, just to make sure.
Yes, sir. Well, five actually. The baby is sleeping.
He did another head count.
Why you got a whole troop of ‘em!
He seemed rather amused by the joke. I agreed with a nod and slightly strained smile.
Three girls and two boys?
Yes, sir.
You got your hands full!
He said in a “better you than me” kind of voice. Or at least that was how I interpreted his gruff, incredulous but still managing to be cordial tone. What is it about conflicting words and tone and experience that leaves me utterly speechless? I’m not really sure what the other person means, so I’m not really sure how to respond. I opted for a polite laugh.
Then he completely surprised me.
I oughtta know. I got four myself. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
And I decided I liked our trash man.
In a culture where small families are the norm, where large families are so rare that every where you go you feel like a novelty, it can sometimes be difficult not to jump to conclusions when the casual chit chat of strangers flows down familiar paths.
The last person to note I had my hands full turned out to have eight children herself. That’s the first time I really stepped back and thought about the whole conversation as an observer rather than someone who was tired of that particular comment. I thought, “You know, I do have my hands full.” But that isn’t a bad thing. My hands are full. My day is full. My heart is full.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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Don’t forget to vote for the Homeschool Blog Awards! Voting ends Saturday at midnight.
In his book New Pioneers, Jeffrey Jacob quotes a homesteader from Idaho’s description of the joy she has in the way of life her family has chosen:
There is so much more to say, and all I can start with is–this is a most beautiful way to live. We feel joy in just watching a gate we built open and close. New Pioneers, The Back-to-the-Land Movement and the Search for a Sustainable Future, p. 84
With this, he introduces the concept of mindfulness, a “calm, yet focused, engagement with the present.” (Ibid.) He goes on to discuss the concept more in light of its Buddhist origins, but my thoughts focused on the satisfaction derived from accomplishment. To set a goal, to invest yourself in realizing that goal and to sit back and appreciate the fruits of your labor.
In our culture today, we tend to undervalue manual labor. Everyone knows you have to go to college to get a “good” job and if your job does not require a degree, it must not be all that good. Sure, there are those few who drop out, buck the system and go on to do amazing things. We like to tell their stories because it fits well with the story of ourselves, the one in which our hero picks himself up by his bootstraps and succeeds outside the confines of convention.
But we aren’t about to risk such things on our own children. And our hero is only a hero if he succeeds according to that convention. We don’t hold manual laborers in high regard. Nor do we particularly esteem those who “throw away” their higher education and pursue other lines of work, or worse, voluntarily stay home to care for children.
Yet there is satisfaction in just watching a gate open and close, a gate you built, a gate that stands as a visual reminder of a need met, a challenge overcome, a goal accomplished.
It is a peculiar sense of satisfaction I want my children to know as well. It is why I leave them time to build their fort in the windbreak while I’m working in the house. But it is also tied in to some of our goals for homeschooling. I want my children to be personally invested in their education. I want them to see their progress as their accomplishment. When they pull out a lapbook they’ve worked on, a story they’ve written or a model they’ve constructed, I want it to stand there like that swinging gate.
I want them to own their own efforts, and take the time to be satisfied with the result. It takes effort, discipline and the ability to step back to let my children struggle with a task and perhaps even fail at it. It means being careful with how I praise them, lest I rob them of their accomplishment by making it about external recognition.
Most of all, it means giving them time to pursue something with all their energy over the course of days and even weeks.
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Don’t forget to vote in the Homeschool Blog Awards! Principled Discovery was nominated for Best Current Events, Opinion or Politics Blog! If you are new to this blog, here’s a little tour which will help you get to know me a little better.
homeschooling home education mindfulness homesteading back to the land
After speaking with my campaign manager about my slip in the polls, we decided a change in strategy was in order. I quickly ruled out mass quantities of spam email, campaign promises I couldn’t keep and ballot box stuffing courtesy of my technologically inclined relatives.
I am going to try to run a clean campaign here, after all, even if I do have a few shady characters in my court.
There is one tried and true tactic, however, that just about every well-run campaign incorporates that I am more than willing to try my hand at: Kissing babies. I am good at that. With five adorable children, I have had lots of practice.
And now that I have drawn you in with some light-hearted chatter, a hand shake, and a cute baby, I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce first time visitors to my blog so you have a fair idea who I am and what it is you are voting for.
I blog for a multitude of reasons, not least of which is the fear I’d pull my hair out if I didn’t get some adult conversation during the day. That’s why I prefer to post complete thoughts. Essays, even. Sometimes, these posts are the only complete thoughts I can accomplish in a day, and it is nice to have a record of my achievement. And I absolutely love the thoughtfulness my commenters put into their additions to the conversations.
My favorites are responses to editorials or other discussions involving homeschooling.
I have a little bit of a sense of humor which comes out now and again.
And I share a bit about our own homeschooling adventures. And misadventures.
We are also in the midst of a move to the country with plans for more chickens, some goats, an orchard and some sheep. As I am currently absorbed in reading anything vaguely relevant, I suspect you will find a post here and there about the modern homestead “movement” as it relates to the general subject of how we educate our children.
I hope this brief introduction helps you make your decision to vote for me easier. Er, helps you to come to an informed decision. But in case you need a little more, or just can’t be bothered to read all that, here is another picture of my baby.
Who could resist that little sweetie?
This dog has got to be the most annoying dog we have ever owned. He charges the children when they open the door, knocking them aside for his taste of freedom. Once outside, he runs in mindless circles at top speed, just out of reach, all the while barking incessantly. When he tires of this, he runs to the neighbor’s two doors down to poo in their yard and bark madly at their front door until the man comes out and kicks him or I get close enough that he decides to move on.
But he always stays just out of reach, taunting me, mocking me, daring me to just try and catch him. I know he’ll come back when he’s good and ready but at least while I’m chasing him in circles, he is too preoccupied with me to keep up the insane barking.
More than once, I’ve decided to throw in the towel and take him to the pound, but then he comes home, wags his tail and flops on the floor, oblivious to the two year old who is trying to ride him. He never, ever takes food from the children, even as he sits and looks longingly down at the baby with his cracker. The baby only comes up to his chest, but he will do no more than lick the dropped crumbs off the floor.
He is good with the children and that has bought him more than a few brownie points, even if there are times I feel like pulling my hair out. In other areas, he has been a breeze to train. In this one, however, he has proven unmanageable.
Then we went out to the property to do some work late at night and I had a different dog. Or rather, I looked at the same dog in a whole new light. Out there, he is allowed in and out as he pleases, something which only took him one trip to learn. Out there, there is no prancing just out of reach. When I call him, he comes. He listens to his commands outside and off leash, something he rarely does here. But then there is this work we were doing at one in the morning.
I went out to get something from the car and Hunter darted out the door past me. He immediately ran in a circle, barked several times, then stopped to see where I was going. A step toward the car and he ran another circle which brought him to the car. He circled the car twice, finally posting himself at the opposite side, staring into the darkness and barking. When I was finished outside, he trotted to the house with me and laid back down in the kitchen.
The circling and barking? He has always done that, but it looks different when you have neighbors. Out there, it was clear he had appointed himself to sentry duty and was doing a fine job of it. It is a job he obviously gave himself a long time ago, but we never recognized it for what it was.
Dogs are bred for a purpose. So selectively that many purebreds can seem neurotic in their fixation on a single task. The quickest way to an unhappy dog and an unhappy dog owner is to try to deny that purpose and keep them from doing their job.
How much truer is this for our children and even ourselves? And how can we incorporate that sense of purpose and meaningful work into our homeschooling?
I was rather surprised and humbled to find myself on the list of nominees for the Homeschool Blog Awards so a heartfelt thank you is in order for whoever thought my blog worthy. I’m in the Best Current Events, Opinions or Politics Blog of 2009. And we all know I have the best opinions because even I agree with me most of the time.
Take a moment to check out the awards, and all the other great blogs listed. Or if you don’t have time for all that, just vote for me and call it good.
Happy voting!
HOMESCHOOL CENTRAL
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